Marsha's Art Connection

My kids seem to think I have gained quite a bit of knowledge over the years.  They are probably right.  There is also still so much to learn. They tell me I should share these bits and pieces with people but it’s hard to put them into specific categories. I never had a formal education…regretably.  I wanted to be a teacher and the guidance from a small school was “don’t go there” because that’s what everybody else is doing and there “won’t be enough jobs to go around”.  Well, now I know what mt parent’s were talking about when they used to say “If I only knew then what I know now.”  If my folks actually told me what it was they knew, I might have been alot better off.  So I tell my kids to follow their dreams and goals as far as they can and not let other people tell them they can’t. I try to tell what I know. We all have so much more potential than we realize. We need other people to remind us of that. In my younger days raising kids, I used to co-op with other parents from things like babysitting, baking, sewing and cooking.  Instead of paying money that we didn’t have (because we all wanted to be home raising our kids), we shared what we could do with each other to get what we needed. It worked great! It could probably work in today’s society (25 years later) just as well.  Maybe some modifications need to be made.

There was a guy at our church who tried to establish this idea of connecting the “have’s” with the “have nots”. One bulletin board you could post something you needed done, or needed help with like yard work, home repair or sewing or childcare .  On the other board people  would post the things they could do. Joe died of pancreatic cancer before it ever came to be.  I think of that often. I think of him. It would be nice to give it a try.  Networking. Isnt’ that what we are supposed to do? How many of you are the “Have’s”? … and the “Have Nots”? 

I’ll post more “BitsandPieces” in future articles.

In the mean time there are those perplexing memories like “That night at the hotel in NC”, or “One surgery a year from 1996-2004″, or “Famous Family Vacations” and “Family Holidays”

Maybe it’s the time of year, the time of my life or the time I’m spending looking for a job.  There are just times I get into a funk.  I’m sure I’m not alone on this. What I have come to realize is that I’m the only one that can get me out of it.  While I have been looking for work as an Administrative Assistant I have discovered some things.  It is in fact “who you know” that will most likely land you that job you want so badly. Yes, you need the skills, but your endearing friend(s) can help you get your foot in the door. That statistic is around 85% according to some recent findings. I have tried working through temp agencies, too,  and while a lot of people have success with them I have not had the same success.  I have had the experience of being sent on a job interview for something totally different than what they told me it was. This was clearly a misrepresentation.  I have been sent on job interviews that have been like, well, “blind dates”…ugh. We also need to know is that we won’t get paid what we are really worth because the temp agency needs a piece of the pie. So I’m hitting the pavement hard and using every connection I have. No time to be shy. A couple good prospects await. And it’s a good thing to remember that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

This time of my life is pretty great.  I have good work experience and life experience at 40 something, (nearing 50) with a lot to be thankful for.  Job hunting can just be downright depressing.  This is frustrating for me due to the fact that I feel so blessed with where I am now. Married for 27 years with 3 great kids and a new granddaughter is quite awesome.  Everyone is healthy and connected. I have so much to offer! Hello?  Anybody out there?

This time of year some people get seasonal depression.  I don’t think that’s it at all for me.  I have always loved the fall with the colors of the leaves, the smells and the brisk clean air. It’s a refreshing and rejuvinating time of year. This time of year also offers more structure as school is back in session and home and community things become more routine.  For me that’s a good thing.  I like to have structure. 

I have been watching the squirrels. They frantically scurry about as they always do preparing for the winter.  They have needs and have to find ways to meet those needs. If they don’t move, they starve and they die. Well, I have been feeling like a squirrel this fall.  I don’t want to starve and die, so to speak. I guess I mean that in a spiritual, emotional and intellectual way. So I had to start moving! I got out of my funk by moving to getting ready for winter like those dizzy squirrels. I took the first step that only I could take. I have totally reorganized closets, storage shelves and have space ready to paint for new storage.  Our office area is in the middle of a revamp and is looking better than it ever has. The de-funking continues with some wood art projects…. photography… watercolors…jewelry… and landscaping just for starters.  I also write poetry and I journal regularly.  I can get my thoughts out of my head. It’s very cleansing. Having things to do and planning my day has given me inspiration. A completed task is encouragement to begin another and on it rolls. 

What is your passion?  Find out what “moves you” and get moving. The next time you find yourself in a slump or as I call it a “funk”, remember the squirrels and you won’t go absolutely nuts!

 

Some basic thoughts.

First remember why he’s out there driving hundreds of miles each day, week and month.If you’re lucky enough to have him home each night, count your blessings.If he’s gone for the whole week, keep him in your prayers.

Should it be necessary for him to be out for a month or more, count your blessings, say your prayers and surround yourself with family and friends that can offer their support. And don’t be afraid to ask for help.

 

Creative ways to stay connected 

I packed *“Love Notes” in my husband’s duffle bag. I distributed them in different areas so they get spread out throughout his trip, like in his socks, his toiletry bag and in the snack bag I packed.  You’ll be surprised how much of a difference it makes to him out there on the road.  He’s in his truck alone, eating alone, sleeping alone.  With your support he is sure to be more excited about doing his job and getting home safely to you.

When are kids were young I would get postcards with address and postage on them to send along with my husband.  When he had a spare minute out on the road, he could write a note to the kids and they were already to go.  The kids loved getting notes from Dad from different places.

Relationship Rules 

I never understood why when we would go out to eat my husband would simply ask the waitress to bring whatever she wanted or just order the special.  I thought it was silly.  Now I know that after all the decisions he has made in each day, week and month that he would love for someone else to just make the decision for him.  He was tired.

Also, when he came home after being out all week and I was home with the kids all week, there was little butting heads.  He wanted to stay home and I wanted to go out.

So I got creative.  During the week I would take a day and do something with the kids for an outing.  Maybe it was a pizza dinner at the local restaurant or in the summer we’d pack a lunch and go to the beach for the day.  I talked with other people and did research to locate low cost or no cost recreation areas like petting zoos or playgrounds that had nicer picnic areas.  It might be a bit of a drive up to 45 minutes.  Now when hubby comes home I’m ready to stay home and enjoy each others company.

 

Being the Single Parent 

Now this one is really not easy.  At least it wasn’t for me.  When the kids were little it was easy but as they grew it was hard trying to be mom, as a nurturer, disciplinarian, nurse, teacher all wrapped into one.  Kids know how to wear you down and learn what are your hot buttons if you let them.  I tried different ways to encourage them to behave.  We used charts, allowance, chores, and different incentives to reinforce good behavior.  Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t.  What I found is when it didn’t work it more about me. The best advice I can give is to research your program.  Listen to your kids and watch them.  They are all different and will react differently to stimuli. 

Then FOLLOW THRU. Don’t say “Wait ‘til your father comes home”, ‘cause it will be a while. As long as you display love in your discipline you should be ok. Get connected with other families and friends for support.  If you don’t have any, check your local Library or school, (even if your kids aren’t school aged).  These are good places to start locating programs for kids. I didn’t have the internet either. 

If you work a full time job, try to set 1 night aside for a fun night at home with your kids. If you have the energy, try a night away from the house.  You could enjoy dinner at home and just go out for ice cream and a walk in the park. Giving yourself and more importantly your kids a chance to be outdoors where they can run and play is great for them.

Network with other moms  

There are many places to find support if family is not nearby.  Local churches, libraries and schools have a wealth of community information.  If nothing seems to be available, start something.  Find another mom with some kids and start a playgroup.  Kids can play while mom’s can enter into some adult conversation and parent sharing. Network your skills.  You can share your talents and save money at the same time, like sewing, crafting, baking or any skills that are brought to the group.  Some playgroups can  offer a rotation for mom’s to go to the market, or the salon while baby is in the playgroup. It’s a co-op.

Friendship Exchange 

I was a full time mom at home.  Whether you work outside the house or are at home full time, your friends can save you. Find a couple friends to exchange ideas, kids and time with.  It costs no money. You can exchange babysitting, baking, sewing, typing, or whatever talent you have that you can trade in exchange for help.  And a true friend will help you out if you just ask and are really in need. Just remember you have to be a good friend to get a good friend.  Maybe you will begin a group with other moms to get together once a month or so and relax a bit more.  Take all the kids to the local playground and let them play while you talk and catch up.

Idea Exchange 

Share your thoughts and ideas on survival while your significant other is out on the road.

What works for you?

 When you are preparing for a group event it is important to know your audience.  What you create needs to speak their language.  For more traditional events a Classic Theme works well.  Classic themes have a common thread in color pallet like different shades of all one color.  Symmetry will be a common thread in the visual aspects of classic design.  More non-traditional themes will add punch and can include opposite colors of the color wheel starting with primary colors of red, yellow or blue, graduating to secondary colors of purple, orange and green.  Primary colors are seen in primary educational settings.  The secondary colors seem more prevalent in youthful settings.

Whatever color pallet you choose per your cients request, keep in mind your options.  Whether you choose Complimentary Colors like purple and gold, Analogous Colors like teal and blue or Monochromatic Colors, (the same color of different shades),  it should depict the message you want to send and who you’re sending it to.