Some basic thoughts.
First remember why he’s out there driving hundreds of miles each day, week and month.If you’re lucky enough to have him home each night, count your blessings.If he’s gone for the whole week, keep him in your prayers.
Should it be necessary for him to be out for a month or more, count your blessings, say your prayers and surround yourself with family and friends that can offer their support. And don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Creative ways to stay connected
I packed *“Love Notes” in my husband’s duffle bag. I distributed them in different areas so they get spread out throughout his trip, like in his socks, his toiletry bag and in the snack bag I packed. You’ll be surprised how much of a difference it makes to him out there on the road. He’s in his truck alone, eating alone, sleeping alone. With your support he is sure to be more excited about doing his job and getting home safely to you.
When are kids were young I would get postcards with address and postage on them to send along with my husband. When he had a spare minute out on the road, he could write a note to the kids and they were already to go. The kids loved getting notes from Dad from different places.
Relationship Rules
I never understood why when we would go out to eat my husband would simply ask the waitress to bring whatever she wanted or just order the special. I thought it was silly. Now I know that after all the decisions he has made in each day, week and month that he would love for someone else to just make the decision for him. He was tired.
Also, when he came home after being out all week and I was home with the kids all week, there was little butting heads. He wanted to stay home and I wanted to go out.
So I got creative. During the week I would take a day and do something with the kids for an outing. Maybe it was a pizza dinner at the local restaurant or in the summer we’d pack a lunch and go to the beach for the day. I talked with other people and did research to locate low cost or no cost recreation areas like petting zoos or playgrounds that had nicer picnic areas. It might be a bit of a drive up to 45 minutes. Now when hubby comes home I’m ready to stay home and enjoy each others company.
Being the Single Parent
Now this one is really not easy. At least it wasn’t for me. When the kids were little it was easy but as they grew it was hard trying to be mom, as a nurturer, disciplinarian, nurse, teacher all wrapped into one. Kids know how to wear you down and learn what are your hot buttons if you let them. I tried different ways to encourage them to behave. We used charts, allowance, chores, and different incentives to reinforce good behavior. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. What I found is when it didn’t work it more about me. The best advice I can give is to research your program. Listen to your kids and watch them. They are all different and will react differently to stimuli.
Then FOLLOW THRU. Don’t say “Wait ‘til your father comes home”, ‘cause it will be a while. As long as you display love in your discipline you should be ok. Get connected with other families and friends for support. If you don’t have any, check your local Library or school, (even if your kids aren’t school aged). These are good places to start locating programs for kids. I didn’t have the internet either.
If you work a full time job, try to set 1 night aside for a fun night at home with your kids. If you have the energy, try a night away from the house. You could enjoy dinner at home and just go out for ice cream and a walk in the park. Giving yourself and more importantly your kids a chance to be outdoors where they can run and play is great for them.
Network with other moms
There are many places to find support if family is not nearby. Local churches, libraries and schools have a wealth of community information. If nothing seems to be available, start something. Find another mom with some kids and start a playgroup. Kids can play while mom’s can enter into some adult conversation and parent sharing. Network your skills. You can share your talents and save money at the same time, like sewing, crafting, baking or any skills that are brought to the group. Some playgroups can offer a rotation for mom’s to go to the market, or the salon while baby is in the playgroup. It’s a co-op.
Friendship Exchange
I was a full time mom at home. Whether you work outside the house or are at home full time, your friends can save you. Find a couple friends to exchange ideas, kids and time with. It costs no money. You can exchange babysitting, baking, sewing, typing, or whatever talent you have that you can trade in exchange for help. And a true friend will help you out if you just ask and are really in need. Just remember you have to be a good friend to get a good friend. Maybe you will begin a group with other moms to get together once a month or so and relax a bit more. Take all the kids to the local playground and let them play while you talk and catch up.
Idea Exchange
Share your thoughts and ideas on survival while your significant other is out on the road.
What works for you?
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